Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
