he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Randomize
