dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
