i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
