i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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