You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
