Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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