Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
