Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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