He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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