Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You ruined the universe
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
