I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
