Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
This girl is more easily done than said...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
