Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
