she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The air was thick with penises
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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