Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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