I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
