dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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