just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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