Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize