too bad you live with your parents still
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
