I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
