THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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