found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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