Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
