I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
