Redeem this text for a blowjob
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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