This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
