Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
