I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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