i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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