I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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