so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
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I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize