Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
