Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
