Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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