I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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