everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I understand Curling. That high.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
