I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My feet surprised me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
