Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
