out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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