i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
