Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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