I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
