The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
