i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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