Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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