party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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