Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
