I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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