Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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