and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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