I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just high enough for therapy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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