My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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