I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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