none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
