i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize