Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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