i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
