Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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