We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize