So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so let's talk penis.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
