ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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